So, I have to just come out and say it. After twenty-three years of attending one school or another, the time has come to admit something to myself:
I am not that great of a student.
This is not a pleasant realization to make 2 1/2 years into a PhD program. The real truth is that school has always come too easy, and I'm kind of lazy -- a combination that has enabled me to develop a massive procrastination problem, one which has caused me heartache and headaches in the past.
Never more so, however, than when I sat down two days ago to schedule my study hours for this coming semester. This may sound like I am actually a good student. I'm sure you're saying to yourself, "but, Lindsay, having a study plan makes you a good student." The trouble with that sentiment is twofold:
1) I just got back from a one-month vacation to Utah and Los Angeles where I did nothing. For four weeks. Seriously, nothing.
2) I was supposed to complete this study plan at the beginning of last semester.
Anyway, my study plan is a week-by-week schedule of studying that, if I stick to it, will enable me to read all my books for my 2nd exam in August and pass my German exam in April (I passed my French exam last summer. Tres bien!). Unfortunately, because I waited until now to start studying, my plan now consists of 10-hr study days six days a week. Woof!
So, now I don't know if I'll be able to do my 2nd exam in August, which is hugely annoying -- I've been in school too long, and Patrick and I are counting the days until I'll be done. The most depressing thing about it all is that it really, truly is my own fault. Why oh why didn't I pay more attention in 7th grade study skills? My only hope is that my own experiences can save someone else (Seth, I'm looking your way) .
So...there you have it. I am a bad, procrastination-ridden grad student/professor, and now I guess I better get back to my studying. After a bath...or Extreme Home Makeover...or another post...
4 comments:
What a lovely blog. I want you to know that we're not offended that we are only hearing about the play in aftermath even though what if we were in California during the run?, but I guess Patch you did say that it may have been to full of, well, that I'm too goodie two shoes for it or something although wow the poster is great. Lindsay, I just want to say that, being a school-loving procrastinator myself, please congratulate yourself on at least being at the end. I only talk about the possibility of ever starting a PhD and never have actually thought about finishing one. So, you should give yourself a bit more credit. We're so happy to have found you.
"Nothing?" You did "nothing" in California? You call ice cream sandwiches "nothing?" We're fighting.
I meant "nothing productive." Oh, wait...that's probably still offensive to you. Um, let's see...how about "the only productive thing I did was (begrudgingly) help Adam with t-shirts"?
Then can we make up?
I love it! You crack me up. I'm a procratinator myself, but if you ask me to my face I will never admit it. I always wait untill the very last second to do things. I guess thats why my on time is consistantly ten minutes late, and my late is twenty to thirty minutes late. I always claim that I am fashionably late, but really I'm just lazy. By the way I am so jelous that you can speak French! I would love to learn French, but once again I'm to lazy. I would probably end up just giving up. Ha! Ha!
Later,
Angie
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