So we never told you...

It wasn't our plan to just put up pictures of Lindsay and have you critique. But you did and now you should know why you did.

Lindsay and I are friends with these people:

Nathan & Suzie

(I like this picture 'cause you don't see that Lindsay is using her red eye mind power to make them look this well and put together. You can see that when you look at the whole picture.)

(Here.)

He is currently Starring in this play on Broadway:



(and by starring we mean starring in the ensemble, (and we really did just watch him the whole time he was on stage... and he was on stage a LOT!) and by Broadway we mean NY City Center, which for all you who don't know...well then... you couldn't tell the difference.)

The Play Bill... (pictured here.)
Says that the stars were Sean Hayes, (Jack, from Will & Grace)

(pictured here with Lindsay)

and Jane Krakowski (Jenna, from 30 Rock)

(Pictured here with all of us but Suzie... but we did get Jane's real nice parents in the shot...which is fine 'cause some times Suzie can look like this:)

It really was such an amazing night and we felt very busy and important the whole event. The highlight for me was re-meeting Sean Hayes. I say 're-meet' because Sean and I have hung out a lot...well, once really...and he didn't ever see me.

Long ago, Lindsay and I were with our friend Adam (who can look like this: )

(But usually looks like this:)

The three of us were at the Grove, an outdoor shopping complex which is the great grandfather of the Riverwoods, and we saw Sean walking to get an ice cream with his buddy. Well, Adam is very cool around stars and I am very Not. I broke into a full sprint as Lindsay and Adam cheered me on calling, "No! No! No! Patrick Don't!" As I got closer to Mr. Hayes I realized I didn't really have a plan, so this is what I did. I got in line for ice cream right behind him and then started very slowly to inch as close to him as I could--surely if I got close enough we would become fast friends and we would laugh about the time Sean found me curled up like a Mongoose on his back. I have to say that I got VERY close. And then I did the only thing one could do from such an insanely close position... I smelled. I took a good whiff and walked away.

I had all but forgotten this (except for every day of my life) when I was in line to re-meet the formerly smelled.

"Do you think I should tell him that I smelled him?" I asked Lindsay, Nathan, and Suzie.

"No!" Said Lindsay.

"Do Not." Said Nathan.

"Wait...You smelled him?" said Suzie.

I knew that I had the thought that I wanted to think about wondering if I was going to tell him, but it was Nathan's show and I had once gone on a date with the girl from Major Dad and had prepped by reading her Bio on line and then told her facts about herself throughout the night. She never took my call again. So I would hate for Nathan to have to see Sean in the showers of the locker room and have to apologize for his psycho stalker friend. (I don't know if there're locker rooms in the back of a theater, but I couldn't risk it.) So I absolutely made up my mind not to say anything...until.

Sean: I like your suit.

Me: Yeah, Target. I got it from Target.

Sean: Really? Are you kidding?

Me: NOPE (kinda shouting) Target! 80 bucks! Who knew.

This was all fine as I did get the suit from Target and it was 80 bucks. But then he said, "Do I know you from somewhere? You seem kinda familiar. "

I closed my mouth as tight as I could but the words were falling all over each other scrambling up and out of my throat.

"Well, I may have snuck up behind you at the Grove in LA and smelled the back of your neck."

Sean: What?

Me: Yeah...smells the same.

At this point I was thinking, 'This is real cool. It's kinda funny and he doesn't seem to be armed.' but then I look at my wife and friends who's faces all were blank and round with dismay dripping off their chins and staining their carefully picked outfits.

Sean: So you just walked up behind me and went...(he wafted his hand toward his face as a chef who's just finished baking a cake.)

Me: Well, I was real close. I doubt I used my hands.


I think in the end he thought I was kidding him. He was so nice to us and (really) every person that wanted to talk to him. He would never think to run up and smell someone's neck and so we must be kidding him. He went on tell me I should be a writer and Nathan told him I was. (what?! I'm writing this, aren't I?) But then he was swept up by other neck sniffing fans and I was brushed aside.

I've yet to hear from him. Nathan still goes to work, so I doubt Sean Hayes is dead, but I've yet to hear from him.

While Sean didn't invite us all to come over and hang out at his two floor apartment in SoHo, I did get to go home with my beautiful wife (who wore the Orange dress and was literally turning heads every where we went that night cause she looked like this:)

(That's Suzie's eye in the upper right.)

And I went home with our Great Friends, who let us join them on this wonderful night that Lindsay and I (and Sean) will remember forever.


And Nathan and Suzie will be remembered as looking like this:

And a little of this: