So, maybe the best part of living in New York is that you get to share your life with millions of people. We all have our own lives and have no intrest in getting to know each other, but at times we share, or hear, or watch very intimate moments of each others' lives. It is just such a moment that I feel needs to be shared here.
Once, late--very late--at night we were riding the PATH train (the subway that heads under the Hudson and takes us to New Jersey--not only a subway but a Jersey subway). Our fellow passengers were, for the most part, wildy drunk. We had found seats which allowed us to sit and watch the performance that was about to take place.
Enter: Two deeply drunk men. They cross to train right and put themselves too close to two lesser drunk girls. The only way to really convey what happened is to put it in the form of a play, so ladies and gentelmen... 'The PATH Home: A True Story"
Steve: Hey, so where are you two going?
Kimberly & Jenny: Hoboken
Steve: Oh yeah, us to.
Greg: Yea, where are you two going?
Kimberly & Jenny: Uhh, Hoboken.
Greg: Oh Yeah!
Steve: Sorry about him, he's really drunk.
Greg: Ohhhh Yeah!
Girls giggle
Steve: No really, he is so drunk!
Kimberly: Yeah we can see that.
Steve: Hey, kick him in the crotch.
Girls do not giggle
Steve: No, serious, kick him in the crotch.
Greg: Yeah! Go ahead, kick my crotch.
Jenny: Um, no thanks.
Girls back away
Greg: It's ok... you probably won't hit anything anyway.
Steve: He has very small testicals.
Greg: Yeah...but they get the job done.
Long Pause
Greg: If it's a very small job...I don't even know if you could call it a job.
At this point the train stops. Enter: Drunk Man Number 3. His drunkeness far surpasses the latter 2, and so the rest of the train ride is Greg and Steve trying to get drunk man number 3 (a complete stranger) to vomit on the train, while the passangers, like those on the sinking Titanic, all press to one end of the train to avoid the inevitable.
There is no moral to this story, but if there were, it would have to be: Drunk people are funny, unless you're trapped with them and they might throw-up.
4 comments:
i'm so sorry you had to see jared at his worst. we try to keep him locked at home when he falls off the wagon.....
Lindsay -
The moral is SO true...and I'm glad that there is a morality play to illustrate it!
PS - I luh-huve your blog.
One part that sucks about the metro here in DC is that you don't get some of the riff raff that you get in NYC. I long to be around more colorful people and have the varied experiences that I hear about in New York. (I love that term riff raff, although it does remind of us singing Aladdin in my 8th grade "karaoke" choir. )
I love that story! I remember hearing it face to face with random laugh outburst in between comments. So we were watching a movie last night called "the station agent" its a good flick, anyway, the man guy said he was from Hoboken, and we felt so cool because we knew where that was. Tell patch to put a shirt on!
LOVE YOU GUYS!
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