Thursday, January 11, 2007

This ain't Kansas


So, I work in retail (you all know where but I happen to know that the divisonal manager types in the name of my store and reads blogs with those words... I'd rather not.)

So, I work in retail and we were having a visit from the regional manager and he got a call from one of his store managers (still with me?).
The store manager said, " I got a call from the police... in Bermuda. Turns out someone bought some stuff from us and took it home, stuffed the boxes full of drugs, and shiped it off to Bermuda. Aparently the man who shipped them is suggesting that the drugs must have been in there when he bought it."

Regional Manager, "Oh, were the drugs there when he bought it?"

"No. But now they want to interview us."

So I thought this was the coolest story ever! It was 10:15 in the morning and we were talking about drugs stuffed in our boxes! Sweet! And my Regional Manager's biggest concern was, and, I quote:

"Who ships drugs OUT of the United States? So you pay top dollar for the drugs then pay a bundle for shipping and then send em off to Bermuda? And let's not discount the fact that it was the Bermuda Police that we're talking to, which means we can assume they made it safely out of the US no problem!"

So I told my RM that this was by far the coolest stuff I'd ever been in to (not that it had a thing to do with me, but I was in the room). I was once told when I worked in Cali that a store had been hiding pornography in the celing tiles of the men's bathroom and had been doing so for years untill one of the guys took one of the girls into the bathroom and showed her and somehow they were busted within the week. That's when I learned girls just don't like Pornography. Go fig.

So not one to be one-uped, my RM says, "Well, this isn't as bad as the time I got called to come to a store and take care of the dead body in the dumpster."

JENNY MAC! A dead body! One time in Orem we had the mystery of who was dumping old Chinese food in our dumpster (so you don't sit up at night, it was the Chinese resterant that shared our parking lot). But I had never known the dark side of retail and it is darker here than anywhere else I've worked.

It was just another moment in which I loved this city and knew that we were out of here when Lindsay's school is done. Give me the mystery of who left a Burlington Coat Factory shopping cart in our store over a corpses any day of the week!


~P

9 comments:

Unknown said...

As your No. 1 blog fan and a retail person as well, I felt that I needed to post. Retail's the best, isn't it? The best story I have is when I was clearing out a fitting room and picked up a piece of trash that turned out to be an extremely USED maxi pad rolled sticky side in so my palm was in direct contact with...well you get the picture. Who does that in a fitting room? Apparanly the same kind of people who murder people and then throw them in a dumpster.

Unknown said...

Did I mention how much I like the use of the phrase "Jenny Mac" as a curse word?

Liz Stanley said...

awesome. If i didn't know where you worked, I would have first guessed jersey city. but on second thought, you said they found DRUGS in the boxes, not severed heads and other body parts. oh and EW to the maxi pad story. EW. do people still use those things?

Liz Stanley said...

lindsay have you heard about this story from your home town?

It's entitled "Pregnant Girls Attack Home Group, Director"

(KUTV) AMERICAN FORK Three pregnant teens living in a group home whacked the director in the head with a frying pan, tied her up and fled in a minivan, police said.

http://kutv.com/local/local_story_018115500.html

Casey&Mal said...

How goes it!!! We've been watching season 4 of "Little Britain" and it is sure funny! "But I'm a lady.." Come see our blog and meet Pete, he just might be Scout's (or Scott's) brother.

Anonymous said...

scout's relatives are awesome

Anonymous said...

Did you hear about the time we found a dead dear in the dumpster, I do believe half of the hide was cut clean off!

Anonymous said...

So, I was on my space and I was looking at Jake Parduhn's and that linked me to your's then I saw you had a blog and since we are down with the blog scene, I checked your's out... Sounds like all sorts of fun stuff going on! New Jersey eh? Jake and I always thought we would end up in NYC. Nope, we ended up in the "big city" of Cedar Hills, UT. We are heading to NYC for holiday at the end of Sept though. Anyways, sounds like things are going well for you! By the way, this is Nicole (Robinson) Allen.

Anonymous said...

By the way, you can check out our blog at: http://londonallen.blogspot.com/

London is our daughter if you haven't guessed as much!